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I’ve found that this generation’s definition of love, dating and relationships is warped. Most people are casually dating (ultimately staying single) while experiencing loyalty.
By definition, loyalty is “to be faithful or devoted to someone or something.” Casual dating, then, can’t possibly provide a healthy framework for a woman to be loyal to a man, and vice versa. Loyalty implies that some commitment to be faithful or devoted has been established.
However, loyalty has different implications in this context. It has become more and more synonymous with “having somebody’s back.”
Whatever your relationship status might be, loyalty isn’t just about being devoted to someone; it’s about somebody being for you when everybody and everything is seemingly against you. The typical new age man wants loyalty and trust, the same way the new age woman wants love and affection, but somehow it seems like we withhold from one another the very things we desire the most.
When a man says he’s looking for a woman who has his back, he’s expressing the desire to be supported unconditionally, to know that a woman sees his potential, even if he’s not fully living up to it in the moment. He has a desire to know that his partner is willing to sacrifice for him and wants a woman who will enhance his life, for the better. He wants a woman committed to being loyal to him, even when no one else will be. He wants commitment.
Which brings me back to the original question – how do we practice loyalty towards one another when we’re not committing to being in faithful, devoted relationships? How do you want to be with a loyal woman when you don’t know how to love one?
Here is my relationship advice based on my experience observing and participating in the new dating game.
HOW TO LOVE A LOYAL WOMAN
Loving a loyal woman is actually pretty simple; not to be confused with easy, but it’s simple – if you know what to do.
First thing you need to do is get your mind right about how much work and effort you’ll have to put into loving her. Ask yourself if you’re ready and if you decide that you are, apply these five ways to love a loyal woman:
1. Be there for her
The first thing you want to do if you’re dealing with a loyal woman, especially if she’s selfless – the type that makes sure everybody else is good – is letting her know and reminding her that she has somebody in her corner.
Remind her with your actions that someone is willing to go as hard for her as she goes for others.
Something as simple as a “What do you need from me” goes a long way. It won’t kill you to take care of her for a change and run those errands she was going to run anyway. Think about how you hold your boys down; hold your woman down the same way.
2. Invest time in her
The guys I know talk about how they want to spoil their woman with all the good things in life, but nothing matters more to a loyal woman than a man’s time.
While she does value financial security and knowing she has somebody that can help her out in bad times, she wants your time.
That’s why loyal women don’t abandon ship the moment financial stress comes into the picture. That’s why they hold it down. So while you’re chasing that bag and building your dreams, don’t forget she wants memories with you.
She wants conversations with you. She wants eye contact with you. On a daily basis. Uninterrupted by anything. She wants YOU . The money does matter but on her priority list, you come first, and she wants to come first on yours as well.
3. Make love to her
The third thing to keep in mind is you have to make love to your woman, and I’m not talking about penetration. I’m talkin about making love to her before you even get to that point. I’m talking about making love to her in ways that sometimes don’t even require touch.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you paid your woman a compliment. And not just any compliment, but a thirsty one. Lots of guys out there show all this thirst for women on Instagram and Twitter but they don’t show any for their women.
You should be the number one most thirsty guy on your woman’s contact list. Her number one fan. Not the guy that met her at the mall or a random follower on social media. You! So the compliments should be doled out on a regular basis.
Also, you might not know this but just the way you hug her matters. Like you can make love through a hug. Those hugs just out of habit aren’t what I’m talking about. Ask yourself, when was the last time you hugged your woman and it didn’t end after two or three seconds?
When was the last time you hugged her and it ended in two or three minutes of kissing her? Then looking into her eyes to let her know that you missed her. That much. When’s the last time you wrote a few lines of erotic poetry just to let her know she has been on your mind?
Let’s not forget; when you get into that bedroom you have to put in the work. By this I don’t mean those two or three minutes until you get off so you can go to bed. It means putting yourself second ’cause then the whole experience will be better for you. She’s going to have more passion and put in more effort into what she does to make sure you’re good. The next day she’s going to be in a better mood, and a woman that is not stressed is not going to bring stress, believe me.
When you make love to her the right way before and in the bedroom, her whole day, scratch that, her whole week will be good. You want to make good love to your woman so she can get a good sleep at least weekly.
Mix this with being faithful, because none of this matters if it’s for everybody else, but when you have a loyal dick, she’s going to want every bit of it that you have to give and then some.
4. Look for other ways your woman exhibits loyalty in her life.
Is she faithful to God, family, friends, work? Which means you actually have to get to know her outside of a bed and outside of just the two of you going out together in your world. You have to enter into her world and see how she functions in other relationships and settings. If you want her loyalty someday, at least commit to making your presence in her life known sometimes.
5. No testing.
Love is risky business. Because women are human – just like other humans you know ; your mother, your father, your brother, your cousins – they will disappoint you at one time or another. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t loyal. It means they have issues, just like you. As we get older, and experience more rejections and let downs in love, willingly setting ourselves up for taking that risk again for love takes great courage.
If you like a woman a lot, see potential in her, it’s clear she has a good heart, just ask her to give you a chance. It worked in secondary school, didn’t it? You ask, she says yes or no (or in some cases, I’ll think about it 😂). Worst-case scenario, you break up one day. But at least you had a great time with a great girl, and most likely you’ve become a better man for the next woman who comes along.
If you’re withholding commitment and keeping a woman under an evaluation period until she proves her worth to you, that’s called a test. And if you aren’t clear with her about what you’re testing her on, that’s actually more like a surprise test. Nobody likes surprise tests in school, nobody needs them in dating.
You don’t want to find yourself singing “these hos ain’t loyal” in Chris Brown’s voice.
There you go, guys.
Do these five things, along with the bare minimum requirements, and you will have a good happy loyal woman by your side.
Gentlemen, has this been helpful?
Ladies, if I’m lying tell me I’m lying but if I’m saying the truth, let me and all these guys know in the comments section.
Thank you for reading.
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