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We’re still talking about the enigma that is a guarded woman. Join me, and if you haven’t read the first part of Guarded but Worth the Wait, you should.
Half of the time, when you start to wonder if there’s another guy on the side or if she thinks that you’re not good enough, it’s just your ego and your insecurities talking.
When a woman is taking her time, there doesn’t have to be any kind of mind game, or another guy or a power play in the mix. The truth is, guarded women, as long as they are not showing any red flags, they’re not bitter or hateful, they’re not still hurting or hung up on the last guy, they don’t live a lifestyle that would be an embarrassment if you were to get into a relationship with them or anything, she might just be keeping the level of attachment to a minimum before she goes all in or gets into a relationship with you or anyone at the moment.
When you’re dealing with this kind of woman, nine times out of ten, she’s holding back because she’s seen this before. This is especially when she’s an attractive woman; of course she can’t control the bad intentions that men come to her with, but she knows that those with bad intentions also appear as angels at first so she’s not going to rush into anything.
So she’s seen the good act before, even if it’s not act to you. She’s seen it before and she’s seen what happens when she does go all in emotionally and how much it hurts when the mask of the other person eventually falls off.
A lot of people try to be logical when it comes to relationships but with some women like this, you’d be surprised to learn that logic has nothing to with their reasoning when they do get into relationships. Many of them don’t give up even when they know that they should. They don’t give up until they know that they can’t give any more to the situation. So, of course, after a woman learns this about herself, she will approach relationships a little more carefully.
Ask yourself: if you can’t handle not getting a woman in her full emotional capacity and still be genuinely interested in her, are you really relationship material? If you don’t get what you want when you want it and you switch up and bail, won’t it just happen at some point in the relationship when you’ve had enough or you’re not getting what you want anyway?
There will be times in the relationship when the person you’re dating will maybe be depressed, suffering from anxiety or just not feeling like themselves so you don’t get the same energy that you used to, and there will be times when you won’t be the same person as well. One or both of you will have to adjust to the ways that you need to fully love and properly care for each other during this time, so if you’re going to bail during the dating phase when you’re not getting the attention or whatever you want, what do you think is going to happen when you get into a relationship and something changes? It’s bound to happen so ask yourself if you’re really ready to be in a relationship if you’ll bail at this point.
Some men may not bail out of the relationship and bail out within the relationship; shut down, lash out, so someone that’s been burned by that fire before is going to take a little more time to grade you before she dates you to see if you’re patient enough or you’ll weed yourself out.
Even when you get past that threshold and into a relationship with this woman, you have to bring your A game and love and care for her in the same ways that you presented yourself to her in the first place, so she feels secure in you as a person and your relationship with her.
Bottom line is when you’re dealing with a guarded woman, even when you’re legit and you’re not playing games or toxic, if she’s still keeping her distance, it’s not because she doesn’t recognize a good guy when she sees one- she looks in the mirror and sees a real woman, so she knows that that she can’t give herself to just anybody.
I think once you enter the dating world and you realise it’s nothing like those Disney movies you watched when you were a little girl, you just become a little guarded.
She’s in it for the long haul, so she needs to know that you are too. All she needs is a little time to confirm that you are who you say you are and will remain that way.
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