Here’s Why You Can’t Get Over Your Ex

Hello readers,

Happy New Month!

Welcome back to SmalleeWrites!💃🏾

It’s my birth month (I was born on the 12th of March🙃) and for some reason I’m super excited this year so I’m taking a break off my self-imposed hiatus to bring you this new post.

One thing people generally ask is how to get over someone when you have invested so much time, effort, etc and it doesn’t work out. To be honest, it is really simple in my opinion and only seems complicated because most of us look at being over somebody like a light switch we can just flip on and off. But if it was ever real to you, then it is more like a plant and a plant will keep you wishing things could have worked out better and wondering why it didn’t. And most of us that go a really long time without getting over our exes, we fertilize and water this plant by doing these three things:

  1. Fighting with them

Because you’re supposed to fight to fix things

This includes the explaining, the debating, the arguing, the going back and forth but you tried that in the relationship and lost, so a relationship is not designed for only one person to do al the fighting because it is an unfair fight, and you’re going to lose. Once you realize that the relationship is an unfair fight, STOP FIGHTING.

2. Following them (on social media)

God forbid you follow them in real life

Once you expose yourself to what they’re doing without you, the moves they’re making, the fun they’re having without you, the more you invest yourself in whether or not it lines up with what they said life would be like without you, and subconsciously you’re going to be checking if they’ve moved on faster than you have; and according to their social media posts, I bet it looks like they have.

So just block them, or be like me and mute them on everything. It brings a lot of peace of mind. Some people block their ex’s friends, family, etc just to avoid being reminded of them, so if you think that’s what you need to do, then go ahead. So that one day when somebody asks you about them, you’d be genuinely surprised by how long it has been since they crossed your mind.

3. Having Sex With Your Ex

Because exes make the best friends with benefit

Unlike fighting, fucking your ex fixes nothing. It’s almost like putting cellotape on a faulty engine. It will keep you going a little longer but the longer you go the worse things get.

Now this is where a lot of us get it wrong. Because throughout the relationship you built appetite for a lot of sex and didn’t have any backup plan, and cutting off consistent dick/kitty can be hell. But think about it this way: the hell of no dick/kitty is no where as hot as the hell of dick/kitty that you don’t trust but still love, so you have to cut it off. Figuratively, of course.

Other than these three things, you just have to give it some time because while it is simple, it is not easy but nothing in life worth having is easy ad your heart being in one piece is worth having even if they don’t realize it.