Batman vs. Superman

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Batman versus Superman, this battle has been a topic of discourse among geeks and comic book nerds everywhere for a long time now. But that comic book battle that we all love isn’t what I am here to talk about today. Today, I am here to enlighten the ladies why the Batman type of guy is a better choice than the Superman type.

First, we will begin by examining the two types of men and then we pit them against each other. By the end of this article I hope to have impressed upon you as to why I believe Batman should most of the time, come out on top of the Superman.

The Batman

This kind of man is smart and has an array of skills outside the bedroom that make him stand out among his peers. He’s usually found brooding over something or tackling a problem with his hands. He is a hands-on kind of guy and he usually gets things done, though it may take a while.

He doesn’t have super powers but he is rich. This may be actual wealth, as in billion gang kind of money or at times it may be a wealth of knowledge –Yeah, a nerd. Ugh! – This is the kind of hands on guy that approaches the relationship with both emotions and logic. Knows when to speak, knows when to leave you alone. Learns to handle your mood swings and will baby you when needed. He is also the kind of person to call you out on your bullshit. Harsh, I know. Everyone needs to be babied, but sometimes, we need a reality check. That’s the only way to grow as a person.

The Superman

This kind of guy is also smart, he’s witty, charming and most likely even physically attractive. He’s the kind to tell you to sit back and takes care of everything for you and more often than not he gets the job done in a flash. You know, the guy, the kind of guy every woman wants.

He is every girls dream girl but he has eyes only for you. He worships you, fawns over you and you can never do wrong in his books. He would stop the world in its tracks if it meant keeping you happy. I think even I am starting to fall in love with this guy.

Give me a second.

Okay. So I caught my breath. The superman is wrong for any woman. Any woman out there will never enjoy a long lasting relationship with a superman.

Batman versus Superman

If even I can’t resist the allure of a superman, what do I now mean when I say he is wrong for women?

Well, let me break it down for you.

The superman is exciting and thrilling. He can just like the fictional superhero in that regard. He would show you the world and then some. He can get things done and in a jiffy and he almost always has you smiling. And we have not even discussed his skills in the bedroom, which I imagine must be beyond human. Perhaps, maybe even godlike.

I can feel you wondering, what’s so bad about that?

Well,

The Superman is boring.

He is the definition of everything that defies human nature. I am sorry to break it to you, but as humans we are hardwired to desire pain, conflict and disorder. I know, I know, terrible design flaw, ten out of ten users do not recommend but the deed is already done. No human is programmed to enjoy peaceful times for a long time. We find it boring and exhausting.

You don’t think I am right? No one in their right mind wants to suffer, no one wants to feel pain, no freaking way anyone enjoys suffering. But sorry, not sorry, I am right. Humans only thrive on conflict.

Let me prove it to you.

Remember that ridiculously simple test you wrote a while back. That test that didn’t require you to read before you got excellent grades. Yeah that test. Remember how happy you felt after seeing the questions and how happy you felt for that one day after writing it. Realize how before today, you didn’t even think of that test again. It’s gone, long forgotten and most likely you don’t even remember the score you had in it.

But do you remember that stupid difficult test you had to do night classes, attend tutorials and pray to the sky fathers and all that just so you would not fail. When the results finally came and you passed and had at least a mid-tier grade. Yeah that test that you are currently remembering. It is probably telling you that you are probably not as dumb as you think you are.

Well that’s the same way our mind processes every day events in our lives.

Events that were easy and simple to overcome become routine and unappreciated because our brain does not associate pain or any kind of suffering with them. Those that we suffer through, fill us with a sense of accomplishment, a feel good vibe or positive energy, whatever you want to call it. Humans do not necessarily enjoy suffering but we do enjoy the positive results that come out of it.

Still not convinced?

Okay, a more simplified explanation is you spend money gifted to you like Bill Gates’ second coming, but try your best to maximize money that you worked for like the reincarnation of King Midas.

So yeah, just like that easy test or that dash money, the Superman kind of guy satisfies you only temporarily. He does everything you want, cooks, washes, runs errands, listens to your rants, pauses his games just to listen to you talk about nail polish and all those kind of things and then one day you are going to wake up and realize he’s boring. It’s not him per-say, it is just the way our brains are wired. We are weird to be wired like that.

But…

The Batman?

The Batman is that stupid boy that gives you trouble and hassles you. Pushes you to do things on your own and solve your own problems. He’s not as charming and he sometimes forgets your favorite color is cyan and not blue. Stupid him, but when you think of him and how frustrating he is, you remember he’s trying his best for both of you and while he might not know your favorite color, he’s always there when it matters the most. The batman may be a little rough around the edges but he’s your best bet for a relationship that offers you that feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment that our silly little brains desire.

In conclusion my dear readers, go for the guy who makes you happy. The kind of guy that you can actually see yourself going the distance, because in the end, it’s not the superman or the batman that matters, it’s the woman they are involved with.

I do hope you found this as the encouragement to become a modern day Catwoman –an independent woman– rather a golden age Lois Lane –the classic damsel in distress.

-Dexter for SmalleeWrites

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