I hope this post meets you in impeccable health, darlings. As always, your favorite small blogger is happy to have you here!😉
If you know me well, you’ll know how much I’ve been struggling with this side of me, my more creative side; so when I finally wrote a poem I just knew I had to share it here.
It’s not my best poem, not even close, but it’s the most vulnerable I’ve let myself be in a while and I’m very proud of it ’cause for a moment there I thought I’d never feel anything again 😂
Good news, this is a sort of introduction to the next blog post which is going to be on what you should do if your partner suffers from depression. I hope you like them both.
And on that note, *drumroll please* Welcome back to SmalleeWrites!💃
People think depression is sadness, they think depression is crying, they think depression is being quiet, but it’s not. Depression is not always that obvious.
Depression is when we smile, but we want to cry. It is when we talk but we’d much rather just be quiet. It is when we pretend that we’re happy but we’re not. It is when you’re sick from crying, tired of trying, smiling but deep inside you’re dying.
That friend of yours might be making all the jokes but crying themselves to sleep every night. They may be canceling on you ’cause their body has made them believe that they just can’t do it. They may be helping you through your rough patches but never once letting on that they’re hurting even worse.
They may be angry and pushing you away because they just want to “deal with it” alone. They may be drinking that much just to drown the pain, or smoking to cloud it but their pain will always learn to swim or fly. So please be kind to everyone.
Fiona Apple said, “When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” and I agree completely because that’s kind of what this poem is about- the poet persona is asking if the subject can be trusted enough to open up to:
Let’s Play Pretend ❤
Pretend I’m drowning with no lifeguard around;
My sanity hanging by a thread
Side by side with my will to carry on
Like the two thieves on the cross.
Would you try to save me and give CPR,
Or add a few more knocks from the hammer?
Pretend you find me laying on the ground,
Oh so pliant under the hands of Pain;
Would you walk away quietly,
Or perhaps hold my hand while
I take my first steps on land
After years spent on that sea of grief.
Pretend, please just pretend
That I’m not as perfect as you think,
I have many good points but just as many bad,
That I wear my fear as a badge of honor
Because I bruise easily and heal slowly;
Would you think it’s too much to handle?
How was that?
And before you go, here’s a quote that I found funny😂:
“I feel like a defective model, like I came off the assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
If you can relate, leave a comment.
I’d also really like to know what you think about this poem.
I’m looking forward to hearing from all of you. I love you❤
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