Maybe I wouldn’t have come back to find her with a guy. In my opinion, he couldn’t have been older than thirty years. The way they danced with their bodies pressed together, enjoying every moment of it, infuriated me. That was the only time I ever truly felt jealousy over anything, I was so blinded with rage that I stormed up to them and dragged Sade off the dance floor but not before calling her a “filthy whore and a bitch”. I wish I hadn’t. There are some experiences in life that they haven’t invented words for.

My attention shifts to my present surroundings. I see Rose with the perky tits dancing upside down with her legs spread wide exposing her pussy before she wraps them around the pole. The carefree nature with which she relates to everybody reminds me of Sade. I can almost imagine hanging out with her and Sade at the same time, how much we would have. There’s a regular in the front row that reminds me awfully of a wet squirrel with his unruly blonde hair and his shirt tucked out his suit trousers. I know that he’s going to request a private dance today, with the way his eyes are roaming my naked body and the huge grin I can see on his face. If I could smile, I would. Because thinking about what I’m going to achieve with him alone is enough to make a normal person happy. But I’m not. Normal, that is. Or happy for that matter.

As I had predicted, the manager of the club who we simply call Q, walks up to me after my performance and informs me of the request for a private dance in the lounge. On entering the red lounge and leaving the music in the background, an unsettling kind of calm envelops me. I walk up to the wet squirrel and ask him for his name but just as he’s about to say it, I shut him up, putting a finger to his lips. Then I whisper in his ear, “We don’t need names. This is not the real world.” Without hesitation, I start grinding on the front of his trousers, keeping steady with the music. His arousal is evident in the bulge I feel pushing against my bare ass. I can tell that his dick is straining hard to spring free out of his trousers and I find myself wondering whether he has briefs on or he’s going commando.  I turn around and put my bare tits in his face, using them to slap his face from left to right lightly. His excitement is disgustingly sweet. I unzip his trousers now and discover that he’s indeed going commando. His cock springs free, hard, long and proud. I swallow hard. I lick my lips and look up into his eyes, mid dance, hinting him of whats about to happen to his cock. Then I hold him in my hands and swirl my tongue around his cap. He heaves a sigh of relief and a feeling of pure pleasure, I think. I then take him into my mouth inch my inch, tightening the entrance around him.

It is evident in his moan that I’m doing a good job. I keep up a steady rhythm.. Up, down, out, in; and I can tell from the way he throws his head back and moans loud that he’s near his climax. Before he cums, I pull his dick out of my mouth finally and blow cool air on it. I can tell he’s disappointed that I didn’t let him nut in my mouth so I stand up and I place his now wet dick at the entrance of my pussy as I set to straddle him. He thrusts inside me without notice, making me wince. Then he stops and looks at me. He asks me, “Are you a virgin?”, to which I reply, “No”. He says, “But I could almost swear that I felt myself break your hymen just now”. I say, “You asked if I am a virgin, well, not anymore. Not after the way you just rammed into my pussy.” The wet squirrel laughs loud and says, “You cheeky girl, you.” I roll my eyes because all this talking is starting to annoy me and I tell him, “Fuck me hard. Fuck me like you hate me.”

This time when the thrusts inside me, he doesn’t stop. He thrusts so hard and fast, making me feel like my insides are going to spill out soon. The pain is beautifully sweet and I think, “This is it. I’m doing it.” I couldn’t stand the fact that when I opened my eyes, I saw his face. So I stood up and walked away from him to the love couch that’s against the red wall at the far end of the lounge. I bend over and arch my back, leaving my clean shaven pussy in his sight. The wet squirrel doesn’t hesitate to plunge into me and this time as I stay there, I can tell that he’s close to his orgasm again. I close my eyes in anticipation and clench the walls of my pussy on him. He jerks inside three more times before spilling his essence into me. He’s about to collapse on top me out of exhaustion, I’m sure. So I push him off and tell him, “Get out!” He picks up his discarded trousers and leaves without a word.

I feel used and dirty but I like it because I deserve it. I don’t deserve to feel any form of happiness. I killed Sade. I killed my best friend, the love of my life. It’s all my fault. If I wasn’t in love with Sade, she would still be alive. If I hadn’t pulled her out of the club in anger that night, she wouldn’t have gotten angry with me and walked away into the streets and that drunk man wouldn’t have hit her with his dilapidated car. She wouldn’t have died instantly. She would still be here with me, living life to the fullest. Why couldn’t I just be friends with her without getting my emotions involved? I’m a dirty, disgusting lesbian. I’m repulsive. I go back to my locker to pick up the blade I always keep there.
I drag this blade across my wrist and immediately feel pure bliss. But just before surrendering to the darkness, my last conscious thought is, “Sade, I love you. I punished myself. I did it for you. I’m sorry I killed you, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry but I cant live without you. I’m coming…”







If this is your first time visiting this blog, please come back. And tell a friend to tell a friend to visit. Also, don’t forget to like and comment. Thanks.


77 Responses

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    • Well, I was just thinking about self-harm, depression, how I was on the verge of it at a point a few years ago, how nobody seemed to understand, how people just judged my behaviour as whatever pleased them (laziness, pride, y’know).. And I decided to put some of those feelings in a character.
      I’m glad you like this one too.

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