Hello readers,
Your favourite small blogger is back! đđđ
Who missed me?
My previous blog post about How To Love a Loyal Woman got such great feedbacks that it warmed my heart, so Iâll like to first thank everyone that took time out to read it. And if youâre new here, Iâll like to say a big welcome and thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites. I hope you leave my site having learnt something new.
Moving on, some of my friends were clamouring for an article for the guys, so I decided to write this one. I hope you like it.
Most women seem to constantly have their guards up as if to say that theyâre going to battle with men. We first need to know the ones that came to battle so that we will not entertain them, so we can be found by the ones who didnât come to fight us. Because not every man is out to get you; some want to protect your heart as much as you do. And when you meet them, you better know how to put your weapons down and go from warrior princess to a loving queen real quick or else youâre going to lose him.
A huge point of making the transition from the single life where you have to protect your heart from all these guys who donât have your best interest at heart, into a relationship where a man is only trying to protect your heart is understanding what a good loyal man needs from his woman. Here are seven of them that I have compiled based on my limited experience with men.
WHAT A GOOD MAN NEEDS FROM HIS WOMAN
1. Respect
The first thing is knowing the importance of and knowing how to deploy casual respect. This is something a lot of women donât think is a big deal, or they think itâs a part of their personality, but let me tell you: to a good man, on a scale of 1 to 10, respect is a 20. Itâs all in your body language or the little phrases you say when youâre having a disagreement, if you cut him off while heâs talking, talk over him, suck your teeth, roll your eyes, walk away while heâs still talking and making his point, saying things like âboy byeâ âwhateverâ. Little things like that matter.
Look, despite a womanâs intelligence, how fine she is, or how faithful she is, in a relationship that would otherwise be great, casual disrespect can make it a living hell especially for this man thatâs already doing his best.
Imagine calling your manâs reaction to something you did a temper tantrum. Thatâs casual disrespect. In fact, itâs blatant disrespect. It is not a big blow up where you call him out in front of his family and friends, but that alone can make a man who really wants to stay find the exit; because the same way a good woman shouldnât stay in a relationship where sheâs not appreciated, neither will a good man stay where heâs not being respected but is being emasculated instead. But you know what, nobody is perfect. So that brings me to my next point.
2. Accountability
The second thing that every good man is going to need from his woman is the ability to take real accountability. Not fake accountability where you say âYou know what, maybe I was wrong , but…â Real accountability is when you not only acknowledge the ways that your wrongs might have made him feel and apologise for that, and then you ask for permission, yes I said permission, to speak and explain where youâre coming from.
You see, when you briefly acknowledge what you did wrong right before you jump into an explanation about why you did what you did, it comes off as more of a formality, just a checkbox you tick so you can bring the conversation back around to how you feel and what your perspective is, which implies that his feelings and his perspective doesnât matter. A lot of guys donât know to articulate this because they werenât taught as young boys that they could have feelings and emotions and still be masculine, but when a woman that a good man loves acts like his feelings donât matter, guess what? It hurts his feelings.
As for the part about asking for permission to speak your piece, that shows him that in that moment you regard his feelings about your wrongdoings as the priority, not your feelings about getting called out on it. It is one of the biggest displays of humility, something you may not have had to practice very much as a single woman. But in a relationship with  a good man, it can make all the difference between how much effort heâs going to put in going forward , to ensure that he doesnât lose you, because now more than ever before, he knows he has a diamond.
3. Good sex
It is no secret that men, and women, need sex. But physical intimacy includes a lot more than just sex including kissing, cuddling, teasing… Men need women who let them feel sexually open and who arenât afraid to be intimate or find pleasure. For both men and women, sex is a way to feel connected and deepen your bond. Men need to feel comfortable expressing their true sexual desires without thinking theyâll be judged, shamed or mocked for them.
Your man is definitely going to need you to be more physically active in bed. Donât be afraid to initiate sex with him more often. When he has to initiate all the time, it makes him feel less desirable and can give him performance anxiety. Donât be afraid to tell him âLetâs try this thing I saw/readâ Porn is poisoning sexual relationships these days, but talking about fantasies â without necessarily acting on them â can still be helpful. Talk about sex with him; what you require to get satisfied, what youâre willing to give. If you have a deep emotional bond, which you undoubtedly will, there isnât a lot that isnât sexually viable.
Take charge sometimes. Take responsibility for your pleasure. You can learn a lot about what turns you on through sex, but your man doesnât have to be solely responsible for your pleasure. You need to do your own homework. Donât just leave him to fumble on his own.
Be spontaneous. Be open minded. Role play. Be adventurous. Donât hold back. If you want to get on top, by all means please do. If you like it a little rough, then make it that way. Do kegels during the act (thank me laterđ). Give him compliments. Tell him how you love it when he flips you over in doggy. Or when he kisses your neck. Or when he licks that spot. Be vocal. Experiment, experiment, experiment!!!
Have fun nicknaming his manhood. Most men secretly love it when you give them sexy nicknames for their manhood. It plays into how they see themselves sexually â a bit of a sex bomb. And that you see it too.
No matter what anybody thinks, the blowjob remains one of the greatest wishes of men, so while taking care of the little man, be fully involved while you pamper him and show him that thereâs nothing else youâd rather be doing. And donât forget the balls, ladies. Donât ever forget them.
-In fact, I might have to do a whole post on the subject because it is an art that I think every woman needs to perfect. (Leave a comment if you’ll like me to)
Also, if your man is up for it, you should consider stimulating his prostate. Some confess theyâd secretly love a little fingertip prostate stimulation either during foreplay or full sex. Suggest you can ease his âforbiddenâ area by slipping a condom on the finger you want to use. It is a complete myth that he has gay tendencies if he wants prostate stimulation. It gives men mega-powerful orgasms and straight guys are waking up to this.
4. A Teammate
Remember that relationships are partnerships. You are on the same team, you are not enemies and you are not out to get your man. So many people treat their partners as their rivals, they see the worst in the other person, they fight to win instead of fighting to resolve the problem and make the relationship even stronger.
The best relationships are when two people are on the same team and are able to support one another. If you donât have that, your relationship will be a very lonely and miserable place.
Men may seem all independent and tough, but deep down, he really needs a woman in his corner who supports him and sees the best in him, even when he canât see it himself. He needs a woman who is proud of the man he is and admires him for his true, authentic self (as opposed to the surface mask he wears in public) He needs a woman who truly loves who he is at the core.
5. Acknowledgment and Appreciation
The fifth thing that every good man needs from his woman, and I canât stress this enough, is acknowledgment for the things that he does right on a consistent basis, whether big or small. The acknowledgment has to be on a regular basis and with specificity. Yes, weâre all aware that men like to spoil their women. But men like to be spoiled too. You can acknowledge him by doing just that. So you should know what your man likes and do it for him.
If he likes to hang out with his boys on the weekends, take him to go get a really nice haircut so he can look good while at it. Â You can also have a nice outfit that you bought for him or picked for him ready for him to wear. You see his wrist is always naked? Get him a new wristwatch. Something. Anything. However you want to go about it, just attach it to the things that add the most value to him and ultimately your relationship.
Now, a lot of these things that your man will be doing for you are things that heâs supposed to do anyway; but your articulation of your appreciation for these things turns them from being obligatory to something that he does with pleasure. Like, itâs the beaming smile on your face while he spoils you that puts one on his, even when youâre not there, and can result in him doing a lot more.
6. Space
I donât see many people talking about this, but we should. A lot of women have a hard time with this concept. Itâs hard for us because itâs not our process. When weâre upset or dealing with something difficult, we typically seek out those closest to us. If we shut people out, itâs because we donât feel close to them or because weâre mad at them.
But the truth is, men arenât like us. When theyâre feeling emotionally off, they reflexively retreat to their âman caveâ to sort through the issue on their own. The last thing they need is someone infiltrating their personal space.
When a woman can gracefully give a man space without taking it personally and making him feel guilty, then he comes to love and appreciate her even more. It shows him that sheâs emotionally mature enough to respect his needs, even if it might not be something she wants, and when he gets himself together he will be an even better man to her.
7. Trust
The seventh thing that a good man needs from his woman, and I saved this for last because it gets overlooked quite a bit, is simply trust. Every good man needs his woman to 100% trust him. Speak to the King in your man with your actions. This shows him that you no longer have your fuckboy radar on, and you have high expectations of him. It says that whenever you see him, you see the best in him, and that you have the utmost confidence that he is who he says he is and that he wonât hurt you. You have no idea how trust from his woman affects a man. Confidence from the woman that a man loves is like wind beneath his wings.
This is one of the reasons why it is very important to have fully healed after a hurtful situation before moving into a new relationship, because in more than one way, you canât effectively love a man if you donât fully trust him. And if heâs giving you no reason to question his intentions, his judgement or the man that he is, then the best reward for that is your full trust. That means not checking over his shoulder when heâs on his phone, asking him who this or that girl is; or if he comes home late, so long as itâs not a normal occurrence, ask him if heâs okay instead of asking him what he was doing and where heâs coming from.
That makes all the difference in you being his place of peace versus being round two of the chaos he just had to go through with the rest of the world.
Thatâs it, guys!
Take my word for what itâs worth, but it would be a shame if you went through all of this trial and error with these guys just to finally be found by a good man, but losing him because you forgot that he has needs to.
Ladies, I hope this has been helpful.
Gentlemen, if Iâm lying tell me Iâm lying but if Iâm telling the truth, let me and all these girls know in the comments section.
Thank you for reading.
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Dolapo!!! May the Good Lord Bless u!!!
Dont worry, we got ur back if the ladies want to riot !!!
Lmaoooo đč
Thanks for reading, baby boy â€
This is simly ideal and concise. Applauding!!! Smallee…..
Thank youuuuu â€
Thatâs very true!!!!!You can say that again sis
Thanks for reading, babe
First one here and I am truly blown away with what I have read so far. Big thanks to Ruth for posting on her WhatsApp. Looks like I have a new favourite bookmarkđ€
I’m glad you like it, Paul.
Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites â€
Honestly speaking,this is good,no like..really good…Great and helpful piece..This needs to get out there like way up!!!!!
Awwwww đ©
Thank youuuuuâ€
Very nice piece maâam.
Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites.
I’m glad you like it â€
Wow⊠This was so helpful.. Thank you for thisâ€
You’re welcome.
Thanks for visiting SmalleeWrites â€
This is extremely great. I’m sure gonna come back.
Yayyyy. I’m glad you like it.
Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites â€
Very nice. Nice..
Thank you very much â€
This is fantastic đ
Number one fan âș forever
Keep it going sisterrrrrrrrrrr
Thank you baaaaby â€â€
Magicalđ„đ„đ„
Thank you very much â€
This is excellent work as usual
.you make me want to write
Awwwww đ© †â€
Thank you so much
I had to munch few parts that needs my urgent attention Nd practice. This is really nice . Iâm a first timer but Iâm thrilled đč
Awwwww thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites
Please come back đ©â€
Hmmmm
Good write up sis. Some Sensitive areas touched đ
Thank you very much †â€
Hi. I have a problem and I hope you can help me. I finally met the literal man of my dreams and I think Iâll lose him soon. We started dating a week after we met and boy is he in love with me. I like him a lot but I canât bring myself to love him yet because by the time he goes, if he does, Iâll be so hurt and wouldnât be able to deal.
I came across this article a few weeks ago and Iâve only just read it, and itâs educative but the problem is the sex. Iâm a virgin, not in the entire sense of the word, but Iâve never had sexual intercourse. Weâve talked about this and he said he really doesnât want to have a relationship without sex not because he canât, but because itâs also important. This guy really adores me but I always see the hurt when I tell him no. But I canât help it, the cons are more than the pros.
He ended a relationship before because the girl said she was
A virgin and couldnât have sex, and I think weâll break up soon.
I donât know what to do sis, if you see this, please Iâd love to hear your thoughts
Hello Misjudged Psycho,
Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving this comment.
From the little you’ve said about this guy, he seems like a dream come true. But while I do agree that sex is important, there are other ways to get off, so there need not be a problem.
I won’t advice you to compromise your values to keep a man as it is never a good idea. Do not have sex with him because you’re scared and you think you’ll lose him if you don’t. You still might lose him if you do, darling. So don’t do it unless you honest to God want to, and won’t be devastated if he doesn’t stick around after.
Love,
Smallee
Ah! This is my first time here, but I really love what I just read. Wow!! I’m sending the link to my girlfriend because you’ve said almost everything.
BTW, I had to search “fingertip prostate stimulation.” LOL! I’d try it someday if she lets me of course.
Thank you for reading.
I’m glad you learnt something new.