I hope this post meets you in impeccable health.
First of all, thank you for all the love you’ve shown me from my very first post on this blog to the hundredth. I want to use this opportunity to say I appreciate every one of you and you’re the best.
In the spirit of throwback Thursday, I’ve decided to post a poem I wrote sometime last week, which I never posted on any platform.
I hope you enjoy it.
It is very late at night,
The lights are out and I sit here
These emotions mixing inside me
Into the world’s weirdest cocktail.
I’m constantly being crushed
By love, happiness, this great fear
And overwhelming sadness.
Love because of you
Of whom I can’t seem to stop thinking,
You who time and time again have
Caused a smile to break out on my face
Without being aware of your effect on me.
This demon that I spent the past
Few years evading,
Doing my best to ensure that I was unlovable
Until you came into my life
And shook it from the roots.
This word that now means the world to me;
I too have come to realise the importance
Of happiness in this part of the world,
But with this real joy comes real pain.
Pain because I am helpless to fight this
And fear because it stirs up things inside me
That I have come to associate with even more pain.
Fear that if you knew just how much you
Run through my mind, you’d run even faster away-
Away from me and the threat I pose to your freedom
To choose someone else, someone better.
The sadness is like a sanctuary
The only familiar emotion, the only familiar taste
In this weird cocktail that is created by
Thoughts of you, my dear.
From time to time, I cower in a corner in that place in my head
Where there is no love, no pain, no fear, only music,
But no matter what I do, I cannot seem to shake this
Because it all reminds me of you, pushes me back to you.
I guess I really do love you after all;
So thank you for showing me
That I can still feel something.
Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.
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