My Greatest Sin

Hello readers,

Happy New Month and a very hearty welcome back to SmalleeWrites!

I hope this post meets you in impeccable health. I’ve been sitting on this one for weeks and now that I finally get to share it with you, I’m very excited about my first post on *cue the drumroll and fanfare*!

My apologies. I have been lazy and kind of scared of writing because I was finding it hard to say the things that I wanted to say the most and I was even more scared of what might come out if I tried, but I decided to stop being a coward so here I am with a new poem. I hope I haven’t lost you.

First, I’ll like to say that there’s no set timeline with love. You can choose to stay in a one-sided love for your whole life if you wish to do so. It does tend to generate passionate (often cringe-worthy) poetry, but of course, a lifetime on unrequited love isn’t very practical, and I wouldn’t recommend it to a friend.

Nobody should live life with one-sided feelings. I understand that the thought of the time and effort that you have invested in the other person will make it difficult for you to reach this decision but eventually you have to recognize what is going on and let go, and that’s what this poem mirrors. I really love this poem and I hope you all do too.


Sometimes I get this feeling,
It sinks to the bottom
Of my stomach
And crawls up my spine,
Sits in my bones
Like an unwanted guest,
And I, the unwilling host.

“I miss him/her,” my heart says
And it feels as though
I’m walking barefoot
On a million shards of glass,
But healing is almost instant
Because my head replies,
‘Don’t be silly.’

The silence extends longer,
Further than the distance
Between us so I’m finally being
Honest with myself.
I’ll never have to fight for a seat
That already has my name on it.

My wandering mind
Will stray to you
From time to time but
I know now that I’ll never be him/her,
The one you talk about in your stories
And to you, I’ll never be more than
A warm body and a warm mouth.

Loving you is my greatest sin
But I will repent.
My life changed when I let you go,
I know how that I deserve to be happy
And it doesn’t have to be with you.


Someone said that “unrequited love is like hitting your head against a wall that isn’t there” and I couldn’t agree more, but contrary to what people think I don’t think it’s the worst thing that can happen to a person. And don’t let anybody make you feel bad for feeling the way that you do. It may be tragic but your love isn’t any less real. Even love unreturned has its rainbow and if you’re in this situation, I hope you find it. But first, you have to do yourself a favor and move on. No matter what your heart says, if they don’t expend any effort to keep you, they can’t be worthy of you.

There’s someone else that’s better for you.

Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back… Then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else.

Sarah Cross

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