Let’s Play Pretend: A Love Poem

Hello readers,

I hope this post meets you in impeccable health, darlings. As always, your favorite small blogger is happy to have you here!😉

If you know me well, you’ll know how much I’ve been struggling with this side of me, my more creative side; so when I finally wrote a poem I just knew I had to share it here.

It’s not my best poem, not even close, but it’s the most vulnerable I’ve let myself be in a while and I’m very proud of it ’cause for a moment there I thought I’d never feel anything again 😂

Good news, this is a sort of introduction to the next blog post which is going to be on what you should do if your partner suffers from depression. I hope you like them both.

And on that note, *drumroll please* Welcome back to SmalleeWrites!💃

People think depression is sadness, they think depression is crying, they think depression is being quiet, but it’s not. Depression is not always that obvious.

Depression is when we smile, but we want to cry. It is when we talk but we’d much rather just be quiet. It is when we pretend that we’re happy but we’re not. It is when you’re sick from crying, tired of trying, smiling but deep inside you’re dying.

That friend of yours might be making all the jokes but crying themselves to sleep every night. They may be canceling on you ’cause their body has made them believe that they just can’t do it. They may be helping you through your rough patches but never once letting on that they’re hurting even worse.

They may be angry and pushing you away because they just want to “deal with it” alone. They may be drinking that much just to drown the pain, or smoking to cloud it but their pain will always learn to swim or fly. So please be kind to everyone.

Fiona Apple said, “When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” and I agree completely because that’s kind of what this poem is about- the poet persona is asking if the subject can be trusted enough to open up to:

Let’s Play Pretend ❤

Pretend I’m drowning with no lifeguard around;

My sanity hanging by a thread

Side by side with my will to carry on

Like the two thieves on the cross.

Would you try to save me and give CPR,

Or add a few more knocks from the hammer?

Pretend you find me laying on the ground,

Oh so pliant under the hands of Pain;

Would you walk away quietly,

Or perhaps hold my hand while

I take my first steps on land

After years spent on that sea of grief.

Pretend, please just pretend

That I’m not as perfect as you think,

I have many good points but just as many bad,

That I wear my fear as a badge of honor

Because I bruise easily and heal slowly;

Would you think it’s too much to handle?


How was that?

And before you go, here’s a quote that I found funny😂:

“I feel like a defective model, like I came off the assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

If you can relate, leave a comment.

I’d also really like to know what you think about this poem.

I’m looking forward to hearing from all of you. I love you❤

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18 Replies to “Let’s Play Pretend: A Love Poem”

    1. Joshua faleti says:

      This definitely is my favourite poem of yours. I enjoyed the running metaphor of grief and water, amongst other things. The poem also reminds me of the last scene in Sandra Bullocks’ Gravity, where she lands into the river or lake, and swims out and then crawls unto the land, before she finally stands up.

  1. LowKey✍ says:

    Adulting comes with it’s expenses… Hang in in there, the sun always raises on the morning that follows the darkness of the night..
    Nice piece. Keep writing

    1. ThisRuqayya says:

      Thank you, Peak. I intend to.

      Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites ❤

    1. ThisRuqayya says:

      I’m glad you liked it, baby girl.

      Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites ❤

  2. GBSmith says:

    Well, no pretending now. I like the poem. Yes, I could really use a recall now but sigh!…..

  3. FT says:

    This totally touched me, thanks a lot.
    This is my first visit by the way, I’m definitely coming back!

    Thanks again.

    1. ThisRuqayya says:

      Oh wow
      Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites ❤

  4. PeteOlutobi says:

    Hey dee, its pete…
    the part where u said “cus I bruise easily and heal slowly” ?
    Really got me…
    I really love what you’re doing…
    And… Yoruba girls are the bomb!

    1. ThisRuqayya says:

      😂 😂 😂
      Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites ❤

  5. Kabugho Immaculate says:

    just last week I tweeted about loneliness..i had gone to club with my gal friends the vibe amongst them was high but I couldn’t feel it..i sat down watching them dance to varieties of ziki but I was lost…
    I’m sorry for the above prattle but honestly depression sucks but what hurts more is the inability of your friends to see it..

    about your poem, let’s play pretend…
    isn’t it the game these days?
    we all are on it..
    I smile but behind there is a swollen tongue that is hurting…
    I won’t cry in public but my pillow is stained with tears.

    1. ThisRuqayya says:

      I really hope you find the strength to get through this and make it to the other side in good health, ma’am.

      Thank you for visiting SmalleeWrites ❤

  6. Anonymous Fan says:

    It’s beautiful, as always. I look forward to more from you.


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