Hi there,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How have you been? I hope you’re not stressing too much.

I had a pretty fantastic day a few months ago and I just knew I had to share it with you.

MORNING

If you’ve been following, then you know, like most of you, I start a typical day by scrolling through my phone while still under the covers, and you know my phone is usually on silent mode and DND – my favorite kind of two-factor authentication – but I must have forgotten to turn them on last night because a call wakes me up.

“Who is this one?” I ask under my breath as I pick up and see it’s barely 9 am. It’s Saturday for crying out loud!

Oh, it’s Hus, one of my long-time friends.

Crap! I forgot we were supposed to hang out today. How do I tell him I don’t feel like getting out of bed?

He knows me too well but even though I doubt he will listen, I still attempt to make my voice sound as groggy as possible.

“How far? They no dey sleep for your house?”

He replied, “You sabi say my spirit wife no dey gree make I sleep nau. We go like fifteen rounds overnight. Ode.”

I laugh hard at this because I already know there’s no way I’m going to wiggle my way out of going out with him. If Hus can still make me laugh despite how rough my night was, he’s going to use the same humor to trap me.

We make small talk for about five more minutes and the call ends in a familiar mixture of “You no just get any sense!” and “I’ll see you soon.” All of a sudden, I’m excited for the day to start.

Little things like this make me think about how we met in the most random way. I’ll tell you all about it later tonight. Our friendship has grown over time to the point where we both secretly and openly love each other but we’re having so much fun that it doesn’t matter that we’re not doing anything about our feelings. We both agree our friendship is too important to lose.

Yesterday, I found out I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) which gutted me, so I watched “Crime Scene: The Time Square Killer” to calm myself and I must have fallen asleep halfway through the documentary because the first thing on my screen after I end the call with Hus is Netflix asking if I’m still watching.

I’ll finish this too tonight because I have to get ready. Hus and I have a rule that neither of us is allowed to keep the other person waiting for more than ten minutes if it’s avoidable.

I quickly attend to business inquiries and check up on a few of my friends before I start getting dressed. 

It’s 11:54 am now and Hus just texted to tell me he’s at my gate so I start walking out. I see my cat still sleeping soundly and I try to sneak out, but the sound of the door rouses him. He jumps right up and attempts to follow me out of the room even though we both know he does this all the time and he will turn back at the gate. I enjoy this little game.

The first thing Hus does when he sees me is smile and I can’t hide the one on my face either.

As usual, he teases me, “Why are you smiling?”

And as usual, I pretend not to care. “Don’t start o. I go just turn back.”

He says, “Ehn, dey go na. You think say I wan see you before?” then, “Oga, let’s go jo. I’m burning fuel o.”

 

NOON

 

It is 1:43 pm and we settle down for lunch.

While we eat and make conversation, Hus reminds me it’s been a while since I wrote the last episode of A Day In The Life of a High-functioning Depressed Nigerian so I make mental notes to write about today.

 

 

 

EVENING

It is 4:17 pm now and we’re ready to leave when Hus laughs out loud. 

“What’s funny?”

“Dami fainted today.”

“Really? What happened? Shouldn’t you be concerned?

Dami is one of Hus’s friends who I’ve become quite fond of.

Hus goes on to explain that Dami went to get his covid vaccine shot without eating anything and he fainted in front of the nurse on duty whom he had a slight crush on and he wasn’t able to get her number. Now I know why he laughed and I join him.

As if that’s not enough, Hus tells me Dami’s tires were deflated at the health center because he parked in someone else’s spot and the person even left a note. The gist just gets funnier by the second.

“Ah! What did he do?”

“He had a spare so he changed it and left.”

“Na wa o. People are really angry in this Lagos o.”

Hus and I continue laughing as we head back.

On the ride home, I attempt to start writing on my phone. Just like the first two episodes,

A Day in the Life of a High-functioning Depressed Nigerian (Ep 1)

A Day in the Life of a High-functioning Depressed Nigerian (Ep 2)

I don’t know how I want it to go but after a bit of writing, rereading, and editing, the words finally start to flow. Sometimes it takes a while, and afternoons are admittedly not my best writing hours, but I don’t want to leave any important details out.

Hus and I drive around for a little bit more while we talk and sing along to the songs blasting from the speakers, then he drops me at home with a promise to see me in a week.

 

NIGHT

I check my messages and catch a little cruise on social media to pass the time.

It’s now 10:37 pm and I’ve got a loooooot of writing to do, so I’m happy to get these hours of uninterrupted time.

Three hours have now whisked by without me taking my eyes off my laptop screen. I think the third episode of A Day in The Life of A High-functioning Depressed Nigerian is going well but I’ll let you decide.

Oh, I just remembered I said I was going to tell you about how I met Hus and I’m sure you’re wondering what Hus means.

He started as a customer and we used to have random conversations through each other’s Whatsapp status before it became an everyday thing, which is how I got to know that we have a similar sense of humor and like a lot of the same things, we’re both fans of Manchester United, the greatest club in the world (if you don’t agree, that’s your business o), and Hus is short for “hustler”.

The first proper conversation we had after the initial one was when I asked if people would buy sex toys from me if I started selling them and his reply made me laugh. I laughed so hard throughout. You know what they say about funny men. It’s been more than three years since that first conversation and we’ve had our ups and downs but I’m really glad we met. I know what you’re thinking and I think so too.

It’s a curious thing – to meet someone and immediately feel as if you’ve always known each other, yet you knew nothing about each other at first. But now, you’ve spent thousands of hours listening and re-listening as you each recount the terrible lows and wonderful highs of your lives. Is there anybody like that in your life? I hope you cherish them and don’t let them go.

Anyway, you know me. I’ll be up all night till I finish writing this episode. I hope you like it as much as I’m enjoying working on it.

That’s it! Another day in the life of a high-functioning depressed Nigerian. What does a day in your life look like?

If you’ll like to read about another day in the life of a high-functioning depressed Lagosian, please leave a comment.

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